Stupid French Word of the Day
Today’s stupid French word is “deuxième” — which means “second place.”
Of course, words in and of themselves cannot be “stupid” or “smart.” It’s all about context (see, e.g., “Bong Hits 4 Jesus“).
So, let’s make it “stupid French word in a certain context” of the day.
Specifically, this context:
The Postal Service, which mapped out social class four decades ago by separating people into ZIP codes, is about to give a new dimension to the adage “there goes the neighborhood.” This summer, ZIP code 10021 on the Upper East Side will become even more exclusive.
…
About 50,000 Manhattanites, including Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg, David Rockefeller, Rupert Murdoch, Ronald Perelman, Spike Lee, Tom Wolfe and Gay Talese, will be cast from the ranks of 10021 residents.
But I won’t — I’m still 10021. Aren’t you impressed?
Aren’t you?
After all, you were aware that the Postal Service “mapped out social class four decades ago,” right? You weren’t naive enough to think that they were just mapping out neighborhoods, were you?
More:
“I think ZIP codes matter a great deal, at least as much as area codes, and possibly much more,” [author Michael] Gross said.They’re especially important, he said, to those New Yorkers who now have to adjust to their changed circumstances. “Their ‘deuxième’ ZIP code will be shoved in their face every day when they look at their mail,” Mr. Gross said[.]
Now I have yet another reason to mock Michael Bloomberg — and in French no less! “Trans fat ban? That’s as deuxième as his ZIP code!”
A friend of mine — whom you’ll meet in a future blogpost — once said that I “live beneath my means.” I don’t have a car, I don’t spend much on clothes, I wear no jewelry, I rarely eat out and my apartment is smaller than it could be.
Little does he know how I sit back every night and bask in my (non-deuxième) ZIP code!
Or maybe not.
I mean really — who is so petty that they will feel “shoved in their face” because their ZIP code changed? Their apartment didn’t change. Their bank account didn’t, their season ticket at Madison Square Garden or Alice Tully Hall didn’t. Their frequent flier balance didn’t. Their friends didn’t (did they?). What kind of people sit around all day and compare ZIP codes? If that’s what it means to be part of “high society,” then I want no part of it.
—
Two related anecdotes:
1. Before I “upgraded” to 10021, I rented in Murray Hill; this was during my law school days. Not a fun or vibrant area, but I needed to live within a specific zone that kept me within walking distance of work and yet was downtown enough to shave some time off my subway ride to and from classes in Brooklyn. The rental agent who showed me various apartments emphasized, more than once, that the apartment I settled on was “a Park Avenue address.” Not deuxième “Park Avenue South,” mind you, but “true” Park Avenue. Ooh…
Or maybe not. I didn’t care what the street address was — I was chasing location, not address. I took the apartment. Maybe the agent thought she was being slick. She wasn’t.
2. Several years ago, when my parents lived in Orange County, New York, there was quite a brouhaha over the addition of a second area code to supplement the 914 area code that covered Westchester and the Hudson Valley. Of course, the economically efficient solution would simply have been to give new customers the new 845 area code and let pre-existing customers keep their 914 area code numbers (i.e., to simply let the area codes overlap). This way there would have been no need for, e.g., businesses to reprint letterhead, business cards, menus, etc.
But vanity politics won out and “elite” Westchester County got to keep 914 while the “deuxième” Hudson Valley residents and businesses — every single one — had to go through the hassle and cost of changing their area code. For no legitimate reason.
Apparently common sense will forever be deuxième to fickleness.
—
One more hasty stitch:
Howard J. Rubenstein, the public relations executive, lives in 10028, just over the existing 10021 border, and he countenanced calm. “The same people will be invited to all the fancy parties,” he said, “and the fund-raisers surely will find their addresses.”
I don’t get invited to all the fancy parties. And I couldn’t care less.
For Discussion: What examples of “conspicuous” or “vanity” consumption confound you?
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What examples of "conspicuous" or "vanity" consumption confound you?
Cell phones. If someone buys a new phone every few years, and enjoys the shiny new features, great. I do that. But don't buy a new phone every three months and expect me to be impressed. Working in IT in Washington, that happens all the time. I don't care.
As far as I know I've never had a zip code change on me (obviously not including actually changing residence), but area codes run from me.
Growing up I lived in area code 804. Then sometime when I was in high school our area code got changed to 757. When I left for college I found myself back in 804. Then half way through college they split 804 (again) and I was in 434.
"I mean really — who is so petty that they will feel "shoved in their face" because their ZIP code changed?"
So, lemme guess…you didn't grow up on the Upper East Side? I know a lot of people for whom that zip code is their identity.
In Massachusetts there's a strange obsession with low number license plates. (4 or fewer digits, no letters, lower numbers are better)
These were the very first license plate numbers to be issued by the state (and massachusetts was one of the first states to issue license plates), and they've been passed down through families ever since. Therefore, owning a low number license plate is supposed to indicate that you're some sort of old money blue-blood.
Apparently, state law allows you to will these plates to a close blood relative, but they're otherwise non-transferable. The demand for these plates has been so high that the state has occasionally issued a new series of low numbers with a single letter attached, but those are viewed with contempt by the purists.
Each year the state holds a lottery for any low plate numbers that have been surrendered in the past year. Thousands of Massachusetts residents enter the lottery hoping to receive one of the few low number plates so they can pretend to be members of the local aristocracy.
Confounding vanity: Rolex watches, or even worse, the hopeless wannabes who buy a fake. Oh, great. Get mugged or killed by one of the protected classes for a fake watch, or mugged for the real thing. I mean, who needs to spend $8,000 to tell what time it is?
Back when telephone numbers had exchange names as part of the dialing sequence, most of Beverly Hills was CRestview. To those of you under about 45, you dialed the first two letters of the exchange name, then the five digits. Example: CRestview 5-1531 was my maternal grandmother's number. You dialed C R (that is, 2 7) then the rest as numbers.
When all-digit dialing came in in the early 60s, some in Beverly Hills moaned about losing the "exclusivity" of the CRestview exchange. Why? Because 2 7 (CR) was the same as, depending on the first digit, for BRighton, which was "just" west Los Angeles, or even worse, BRadshaw, which was in (sniff) THAT part of Los Angeles. How petty!
The same snobs got the ultimate twist of the knife in the 213 area code split that spawned 310. Now, Beverly Hills was to share an area code with Inglewood, Compton, and other pretty rough areas. Given that one of the dividing points was Doheny Drive, right on the LA / BH border, I find myself wondering if someone at the phone company just had a cynical sense of humor!
(Funny how after all these years, those old numbers have stayed with me. HOllywood 9-8884 (our house in the 1950s), the WEbster 8-7995. My father's office, ANgelus 1-8106…)