A Stitch in Haste

So, are you New Gay or “New Old Gay? (Note: Apparently those are your only two choices.)

Project Runway Season 1 contestant Austin Scarlett is New Old Gay, Project Runway Season 4 winner Christian Siriano is New Gay. The Scissor Sisters are New Gay. Rufus Wainwright flirts with being New Old Gay, but he’s really New Gay in a Judy Garland costume. New Old Gay is The Golden Girls; New Gay is America’s Next Top Model. New Old Gay is putting together a reading of a Wendy Wasserstein play and singing show tunes around the piano at Marie’s Crisis, the West Village bar with colored Christmas lights arranged in a rainbow pattern on the ceiling; New Gay is karaoke at Sing Sing after a birthday party at Primorski’s in Brighton Beach.

Note: If you actually understand any of that, then you are far more gay (Old, New, New Old, Old New, Bi-Curious, whatever) than I am. Even if you’re straight. Congratulations.

More:

These days, the young gays of Williamsburg and the East Village — the ones who wear pointy shoes and tight cutoff shorts, who studied queer theory and dabbled in heroin at Sarah Lawrence or Bard or Wesleyan, hang out at bars like Metropolitan and Sugarland in Williamsburg or the Phoenix and Eastern Bloc in the East Village, and listen to Chromeo and Girl Talk and Le Tigre — get all the attention. Corner one of these young men, and he will profess ignorance of that other scene of youthful gays, the gays of the Friends of Dorothy variety. As one of the New Gays confidently told me, it is a scene made up exclusively of the old and, quite possibly, fat, adding that the only young men who fraternize with this group are those who cannot, in all likelihood and despite their best efforts, get laid.

Meanwhile, which kind of gay — “New” or “New Old” — works as an investment banker, listens not to show tunes but Cato Institute podcasts, watches Doctor Who reruns on Friday night, blogs on Saturday and plays Bioshock on Sundays?

(Via Hunter of Justice.)

Related:
–Breaking News: Gay Stereotypes are Bad
–“Gays are So Rich… (How Rich are They? … )”
–Gay Portrayals in the Media: Good or Bad?
–From the Archives: On Gay “Neighborhoods”
–Is There a Duty to Be “Good Gays”?

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